Friday, September 18, 2009

Me Conglomeration: Because "I own a hello kitty toaster" is absolutely lame

I'm regarded as one of the more arrogant people that people know, so why is it that when the first day of class rolls around and the "Tell one interesting fact about you!" question comes up - all I can come up with are 3 things: I can type 180 wpm, I get a lot of mail, and I own a Hello Kitty toaster.

Two words: Epic fail.

So I've been randomly, for the past few days, coming up with one-sentence descriptors that might follow the query "What is one interesting fact about you?" ... I don't think any of them can appropriately follow Murphy beating the crap out of some guy, but oh well. I came up with ten!

1. I can sing (aaaalmost) all of the words to Johnny Cash's "I've Been Everywhere" song - without the music. With the music I could probably do better (although I get the verses out of order but who cares about that).

2. I rescue worms off of the sidewalk when it rains and they all decide to slither forth from their homes. Reasoning? 1. People squish them. 2. They are stupid, blind creatures that need moisture to live (but not buckets of water to drown in), so when it finally stops raining and the sun comes out, they dry up and die before they can find their way back into the dirt.

3. I taught myself how to raise one eyebrow by practicing in the mirror for hours... I also taught myself how to tap just one toe while the rest is steady, but that skill appears to be unreliable... o.O It shorts out.

4. When I was like 10, I taught myself to write words starting with the 2nd letter (like in "Rawk," I'd write the A, then the R, W, and K) and now I randomly screw up and start with the 2nd letter (So I end up with "Arwk") ... The moral of this story, kids, is not to ever train yourself to do something stupid, because psychology will bite you in the face for the rest of your life.

5. Sometimes, I don't brush my teeth before I go to bed because it makes me feel rebellious. Muhaha.

6. I firmly believe that flies are telepathic.

7. I have a strange obsession with describing mornings... although I hate waking up to see them.

8. I think I'm only an English concentration to help me endure my psychology courses... each semester, I manage to get through the classes because I think "after this I get to read poetry!" or "Okay, just get through the next 30 pages of this crap textbook and you can read Emerson"..... woo!

9. I can hit absolutely anything with a baseball bat, if it is thrown in my general direction and not like 30 feet away from me. I'd probably be awesome at baseball except... I can't catch a ball that is rolling on the ground. Seriously. It's comical.

10. I think Jane Austen kind of sucks.

And also, upon pondering the meaning of life... I have decided that the reason for my existence is the following:

Piggy Banks
Getting mail
Time with God
Creative ideas
Mountain Dew
Comfy couches
Sending people notes in the mail
Good food
Cute, colourful cartoons
The wind
Pictures of food with eyes on them
Emails - any
Old book smell
Text messages - any
Buildings that make you feel small
Humor (except perverse humor)
Songs you can never get sick of
Old buildings
Baby animals
Smells - almost any
Candy & chocolate - most
Ruffly dresses
Laundry detergent
School Supplies
The dollar aisle at Target

^________^ That's just about it.

Oh, and I was inspired by a bunch of people recently getting blogs.... to make my own! And since I already had this one but wasn't doing anything with it, I figured... might as well make it into a blog full of awesome.



  1. YES! Another blog to follow. I'm quite excited about this.

  2. Well, I've got around six I'm following... can't see why adding another is going to kill me. And I've been checking in here to see if you've been writing something - but alas! - you haven't until now! Cool!

    And yeah, I think Jane Austen sucks too! Thank God I'm not the only one who thinks this!

  3. Jane Austen's novels are all people have long-winded conversations about so-and-so's character and this random guy's dignity. They usually depress me because I think "Seriously? Did these women not DO anything!?" It's sad, because they honestly didn't do anything. It's like proof that people will be boring, lazy, and stupid unless you educate them and give them something to do. Gwah. :P


  4. Yay! Hooray for randomness from people. I will admit that I've never seen a Hello Kitty toaster. I think you should get an award for rescuing those wormies. :) I'm sure if the worms could talk, they would thank you from the bottom of their hearts. :)

    Wow. I thought I was the only one who is not interested in Jane Austen. People ask me how I could be an English major and not like Jane Austen. Well, she's a good writer for some, but I like to read other books.

    Aww, thanks for posting your existence list. 'Twas inspiring. :)